Trying again.....

I am not going to a hypnotist, but I am trying once again to lose weight. It's not that I need to..., but I am trying none the less.

Have any of you heard about the new brain surgery that seems to be helpful to those who are a little fluffy? I think mouth surgery might be more helpful.

Other news...

Matthew got his application and is beginning to prepare for his mission. Chip is looking at the Mr. Mac online store and Vicki is thinking about teeth, etc. Matthew is over 6 feet tall and very handsome. He would be a good missionary for Samoa.

Joshua is enjoying his Jr. High experience. Jr. High is a fascinating time in our lives. We either have a perfectly charming experience or it is the most horrific experience of our lives. Quite a paradox.

Paul is a very handsome 7 year old. He is smart and very polite and caring. He is a wonderful big brother and is very protective of his sisters. He is very proud that he can ride his bike without training wheels.

Maggie still loves stinky things. We smelled the tell tale odor of a passing skunk while we were waiting for Paul to get out of school last week and Maggie stuck her head out of the car window, inhaled deeply and declared that it was a wonderful smell. She also likes to smell feet.

Ellen is quite the little lady. She is a natural little actress. I love it when she has me shorten my cane. She imitates me as she humps over and shakily walks with the cane saying, "I am an oooold person".

Reed and Fleur are doing great. They are working hard to get out of debt and are making wonderful progress. They are wonderful parents.

That's the report.... Hope all of you are well.

My 7 Things

Thanks to Donna, my sweet almost relative (Chip's sister) , I have been tagged.

I am to post 7 things that no one knows about me and then nominate 5 fellow bloggers to do the same. So here goes......

1. I have a weird little keyring. It is an elaborate cross that has a little knife that comes out of the bottom of it. I think the message is "Jesus Saves....but, just in case....".

2. I think Hugh Nibly and I were best friends in the premortal life.

3. I have always been terrified of spiders.

4. I really hate "My Little Pony", but I don't think it shows as I watch the videos over, and over, and over, and over.....

5. I don't like Brazil nuts.


I tag Linda, Clare, Emily, Vicki, and Fleur.

My blog entry: The Funny Mouse

This story is by: Paul, Maggie, and Ellen

Tale of the Funny Mouse

Once there was a funny mouse. He was a baby and he was so afraid he holded a teddy bear. He was a very timid mouse who loved to play by himself.

Then there was a human going to step on him. His name was Despero and he wanted to talk to a live human. So when the human almost stepped on him, he scurried up his leg.

Then he um...crushed the little mouse. But Despero came back alive and said "Why are you sad?" The guy said: "I almost stepped on you...sorry."

Then..um, uh.. said: " You're the craziest man". Then he looked up and he saw a coffin. And then he saw the mummy in it. Then the mummy came toward him and put him in the coffin. The mummy came alive and escaped.

No, Despero died, was put in the coffin, came back alive and then he said: "You're just the prettiest girl".

And then he escaped. And then he said: "I think I see a monkey". And then he fell from an airplane at Egypt and he um..um..saw an Egyptian and said: "Who are you?" And he said "I'm a little mouse and my name is Despero."

Then he said: "Well, What's your name?" The Egyptian said: " I'm Pharaoh, and would you like to become an Egyptian mouse?"

And then he said: "Yes, I would". So, the Pharaoh made him a servant mouse.

Oh...The Good Old Times....

I ran into some old advertisements on the web and thought I'd share them with you.
I don't know how we survived some of these, and our grandchildren will never believe how many definitions there are for the word "fag".

Enjoy!

Take An Aspirin and Go To Bed..

Most of you know that I have a wonderful relationship with my pain doctor. He has a funny name, but is handsome and kind...just like a pain doctor should be. It wouldn't make much sense to have an ugly and irritable pain doctor; after all, part of relieving pain is emotional. Anyway, my doctor, Bolkar Shainler, (I haven't asked him the derivation of his name..I assume Slavic of some kind) did a small surgical procedure this morning on my spine.

I have what he says is the worse neck he has seen in his years of practice. All of my disks in my neck are bulging and pressing on my spine. The lower two are causing terrible pain in my left arm. I am not able to lift it. This is very inconvenient. We do a lot of things in our life that require lifting both arms. So, it finally got bad enough that I let him inject some cortisone into the spinal canal. It involved inserting a catheter and threading it up to the correct space to inject the medicine.

He sent me home to rest for 24 hours and take it very easy for the rest of the week.

I am hoping that after the physical therapy I will be relatively pain free in my arm. It would be nice.

Meanwhile, we are on Spring Break this week. Joshua is in tennis camp for the week. Matt and Harvey are spending the week doing major body work on the car Matt wrecked a few months ago. Vicki is spending the week playing with her boys and catching up around the house. It will be fun.

I miss and love you all. Keep in touch.

Just For Fun

A former seminary student of mine posted this on facebook and it is hilarious! We want to hear from all of you.

Google your first name and the word "needs" (Laura needs) and send us your first 7 results. I'll get us started.

1. Laura needs 25 cents and 2 fingers.
2. Laura needs some post toddler love.
3. Laura needs to hear from other teachers.
4. Laura needs a professional profile.
5. Laura needs her meds changed.
6. Laura needs a sofa.
7. Laura needs a tech makeover.

1. Harvey needs a donor liver.
2. Harvey needs an intervention.
3. Harvey needs friends.
4. Harvey needs 40 holes.
5. Harvey needs a loving home.
6. Harvey needs lots of walks and games in the park.
7. Harvey needs Batman's help.

1. John needs a hug.
2. John needs 13 bottles of water from the water store.
3. John needs charisma.
4. John needs a plumber.
5. John needs to embrace family values.
6. John needs our prayers.
7. John needs Joe, now more than ever.

Things That It Took Me Over 30 Years To Learn

I saw this on a joke site. Thought I'd share. Anyone else have something to add?

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

16. Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.